#now what im asking is what did i post that made tumblr think i'd be into christianity

[factual-fantasy]

24 Asks! Thanks ya'll! 🐼

@holly-opal-2 (Sorry for the late reply!)

Aw <:( I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope that doesn't happen again.

Also of course they are! :}} I have always considered them as such 💞

Thank you! Happy (late) Valentines day! :DD

@stargirldrawsx3

Man, I feel you there. I'm sorry you weren't able to study. I hope things go well for you 🙏

@narrator-girlart

I saw Markiplier play it some weeks ago, but mostly forgot about it.. I was surprised to see it gain such traction on Tumblr. Maybe I'll have to go rewatch those videos and figure out why people love it so much :00 (I cant remember the events of the game 💀)

@dreamweave01

That could work!! :DDD

(ALSO THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!😭😭💞💞💞 )

Yeahhh.. I have been battling some health problems for almost a year now. Trying my best to work on it but thing's aren't going so well. <://

Thank you very much though, I hope the same for you! :))

@milk-powrit

Tom Nook is an angel, the "only good landlord" he's been called. And I agree! This might explain why though I didn't read all the way through- just skimmed over it and thought "yeah I think this has the right points"

@necropencil (Referencing this post)

AAA THANK YOU!! :DD

(I am also slowly going insane thanks to Wheeljack XDD)

@badlyblurry

XDD Well its like they say, great minds think alike! Also thank you so much!! :DDDD💞💞💞

AAAAA thank you!! :DD Or- you're welcome? <XDD

@shyzonkstudentlawyer

Oh wow, welcome back! :DD And thank you! I'm trying to try to work on my health and make improvements where I can manage it.. so far things have uh.. Well, it could be worse I suppose!😅

Also AAAA THANK YOU THANK YOU!! :DDD I'm so glad to hear you like what I've made! :DDDD

Now for you questions...

When it comes to the Welcome Home stuff, just imagine our world through a puppet/sesame street style show lens. They have the same food but its all colorful and has silly names. Their trees are like ours but they're crazy colors and grow fantasy fruit. Their technology develops like ours but its all colorful and silly. Etc, Etc-

Now for TADC... I hadn't actually thought about it <:0 maybe Sneemos jester hat things would flail around :0 I haven't thought about it otherwise though😔

Lastly, PFFF XDDD

(Item-dying woes post in ask)

😔You feel my pain.. I feel your pain........

@wolfie-777

:000! You heard it here folks! I'm silly!

She always looks lovely! :))

@tearsofsolace

AAAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! :DDD🥰🥰💞💞💞💞

@eggswastaken

XDD That I did!

..Well, I actually got into it back in 2020-- but recently I have dragged myself back into the fandom a bit. 😂 The biggest obstacle I have to rejoining the fandom fully is just making time to sit down and rewatch the show.

I have such a hard time switching tasks and just doing something 💀 but hopefully I'll get there soon! <:)))

@minnesotamedic186

@little-goober

Oh yeah, sorry! I have very bad memory 😅 I can only really remember people by their profile pictures.

Also thank you so much! :)))

Thank you so much!! 🥰🥰

@bluetootsiepop

My advice is to study references closely. When it comes to making faces up/drawing faces without a reference? Like if its an OC? I'm afraid I cant think of any advice <:( I struggle with that a lot too. 😔

(Also thank you so much!! :DD )

@ourlifestooshort

I have drawn them, but I don't feel comfortable sharing my ref sheets.. Sorry! <:/

I looked up Tailgate with no mask and I will never sleep well again 💀

Also feel free to tell me anything you want about the comics! I don't plan on reading them 😔 I only plan on rewatching Transformers: Prime.

@bitesyoubitesyouchomp

SCEAMSSSS THANKYOUUU 😭😭 THAT'S ALL SO SWEET IM IN TEARS💞💞💞

@beryl-shade

Imagine if my blood was blue XD I'd be a transformer!

[loveinstreams]

this sure is a website

[love-songs-for-emma]

‼️ VAMPIRE QUESTION TIME ‼️ [MORAL DILEMMAS ALERT🚨]

if your significant other/best friend were turned into a vampire, would you want them to turn you into one too?

and, vice versa,

if you were turned into a vampire, would you want to turn your significant other/best friend into one too?

[itsrlymine]

https://www.tumblr.com/itsrlymine/774119998237114368/hey-im-the-one-who-sent-that-ask-lol?source=share

damnn girl you only started this account two months ago??? how did u gain followers so quickly??

omg yes i started this page in november. right after i decided what theme i'd use and what type of posts i'd make, i mediated for like two seconds just starring at my empty blog and decided that it would be successful super quickly and i'd have incredible interactions with everyone whether or not i posted everyday. each day, i would think about how many followers i would gain in a day and i did just that. when i made my first three posts (my intro, 3d is you and personal success stories), i had like 5 followers but got excited and felt like i had over 3k. now i do ofc. i didn't care about the fact that my screen would say 5 notes or 20 notes. I'd look and see that it said 1,700 or 2,300 notes. and it's so crazy thinking back honestly bc wow i did that fr.

i would literally always be manifesting this page's success bc how i can i have a manifestation page and not be using what i know to my benefit?! I decided i'd grow insanely fast and every post i'd make would resonate and help so many people. 96% of this page is LITERALLY JUST SUCCESS STORIES LIKE OMMGGGG! And that's what I always wanted. I didn't want the focus to be on me but on the fact that everyone can get what they want and i got over 50 success stories within the first week to two weeks like whatt.

i've always wanted to have a reason to come back to tumblr and have a super fun page where i interact with people and i didn't initially think it would be for manifesting but it makes complete sense that's how it happened.

i also decided that my posts would make it onto different manifestation platforms and BROOOO! Everyone i wanted my post to get on, they freakin did and they would do numbers. I wanted people to post my work on twitter, reddit and pinterest and that's all happened and it happened so freakin quickly. like i searched my name on twitter the other day, i saw so many of my posts had reached audiences i didn't even know i had.

i guess this would be another success story of mine lmaooo. i love this page and all of you guys so muchhhh!!!

[bloodygyaruuu]

Show us your Kirby gijinkas. Now. (If you even have any.)

sorry abt the long wait, but here u go

im SOOOO happy w how these turned out.

sorry, but i only really have set designs for meta and ddd at the moment but i'd LOVE to do the other characters. i know you didn't explicitly ask for mtdd, but I just couldn't help myself <3

(ill go into more detail about my choices under the cut, I just love to yap)

okay now that ur stuck here with me, I'm gonna start with my design headcanons and inspirations.

Meta Knight:

Okay for Meta I wanted go with a more slender-ish, short-statured body will a bit of a baby face. I really tried leaning into a bit for vampiric features like fangs, desaturated colors, and the signature vampire bites (although these ones are just moles for the aesthetic). I wanted to give him a good chunk of unique features too like a scar under his right eye, a few beauty marks, pale-white eyes, prominent fangs, like 2c/3a hair (this means curly/wavy incase ur unaware), permenant eye bags, and a hooked nose for good measure. Ski-slope nose meta is evil propaganda which shall not be trusted.

yes yes, i can hear u saying "he looks like a twink" and to that I respond, "well, I'm fucking trying. he looks strange w facial hair to me and also Im a raging lesbian who only draws women over and over again". Also I made him Mexican because have u SEEN the anime dub. its fucking gold. and while I'm not Mexican, I AM colombian and black, so I thought this would be a good time to flex my liberal wokeness and make meta darker than a piece of paper. excuse the egregious anime hairstyle, I like anime and don't get out much.

King Dedede:

Alrighty I REALLY stepped out of my comfort zone here. I'm gonna be honest and say not only do I not draw a lot of men, but I don't draw a lot of men with larger body types like ever so this was definitely a bit of a challenge. god bless the "fat guy" anatomy tumblr post I saved a year ago, it came in clutch. anyways, I wanted to add some traditionally black hairstyles to my kingy king so I did a bit of thinking until I came to a realization. BEARD. LOCS. it was genius. I scrolled thru this guys page on tiktok who also had beard locs but they had jewelry on them and I just thought "wow, el, ur a genius." so I threw them into the design ofc. I like how a few other gijinka designs of ddd give him a long braid in the back. It's very regal. So I did that too but it's a braid made up of locs. Dedede's head is probably extremely heavy from the hairstyle I gave him, but he'll live. To list off some attributes; I gave ddd a wide, flat nose, vibrantly dark skin, like the underbite kind of fangs that u see in werewolves(not sure what it's called exactly? anti fangs??), locs, bushy eyebrows, and blue, tiny pupils. Again, I am VERY happy w/ my resdesign of him since my design of MK didn't change all that much from 2022.

In Conclusion:

thank you to anyone who made it this far!!1!!1

I know I say a whole lot of nothing sometimes, but I'm just so touched somebody out there wanted to see MY gijinka designs. its so funny cuz that's literally what my first ever post was on this app and Its nice to see things come full circle for once. hopefully, you all think Ive improved since then. personally, I think I improved a wee bit, but ill always strive towards improvement so I can have enough talent to consider redrawing the designs I just made, but even better <3

[lunarleonardo]

What keeps you motivated to write fan fiction? Also, love your drv3 x pressure fic :3

Just the fact I can, to be honest. Before I started posting to ao3, I had my "Great Big Book of Oneshots", which was a google doc I'd just write write write in until I hit Google Docs' character limit and had to make a new one.

The reason I can keep writing as much as I do is because A), i'm hardly ever affected by writers block. When I am, I just do something else until I can sit down and lock in again xD Forcing myself to write will never be productive. B) it's fun!! It's so much fun!! Why would I want to stop something objectively enjoyable ??

and C) ao3 and Wattpad.

I love writing, and I love fanfiction. I started out on Wattpad and eventually fully migrated over to ao3 because the ads kept pissing me off, but I have read so many amazing stories on both sites. I loved seeing more of my favs, especially in the Situations. and on the rare occasion it's something i relate to and find personal comfort in ?? ohhhh boy. buddy. it's so nice. I wanted to be a part of that ^^

Part of why I only had the confidence to keep posting fanfics is because everyone was SOOO so nice </3 and I've gotten some comments here and there that are kind of rude or :/ (one of which i find absolutely hysterical and i can NOT get over it. commenting that i "don't see kokichi as a character outside of saiouma" is a crazy thing to say on Fever Frost, the saiouma despair disease fic where kokichi has the attachment disease LMFAOOOO. I should write another despair disease fic) But really I think I was expecting....way less. as of right now my Tumblr has like 150+ followers iirc which . like...woah......... when did that happen. Last time i checked my followers was to giggle at it being 53 and then BOOM. insane behavior. what the hell was the original ask

Oh yeah motivation . Having such good reception to my fics has definitely helped in the whole self-confidence department, and it has helped me a LOT in terms of my anxiety. Whether Im posting my fics or not, I am always writing fanfiction, no matter if its in my Oneshot Volumes or for ao3 (´▽｀*)

Nowadays I just really really like ao3 for its archival use. I reread my own fics a lot because there's no other extensive Shuichi whump fics :( and ao3 has made that a lot easier. The more comfortable I get on ao3 the more insane I'll probably become, so if you see something called The Lyre Room just know that's where I've gone completely off the deep end xD

sorry for the yap session i like talking about myself @_@; And also Thank you!!! :D Unexpendable was a pain in the ass to write and i am NEVER doing something like that again but i love how it came out. crazy cus the first ever fanfic i posted ever was a crossover fic. the history book had a roommate or something idk

alright im not rereading allat press post

[starrose17]

I've decided I've got to get out of this negative mindset about fandom.

It's making me depressed and it's annoying everyone reading about it on here (I should know i lose followers everytime I moan and complain).

I have deleted myself off of the entire Internet except tumblr and my old live journal account, but I'm thinking this is good. Im thinking I should start a fresh with YouTube and AO3. I'm thinking of actually rewriting all of my fics in all fandoms. Re-editing everything, writing them better, uploading them as one.

I need to get out of the mindset of what fandom USED to be like, its destroying my mental health. Yes there is a huge drop in interaction, with reblogs, with tag comments, with comments on AO3. Yes I do still wish that Likes and Kudos were just...gone, and that there was somehow some kind of thing where you couldn't leave a fic you've read until you've left a comment HOWEVER, none of that is going to happen, and complaining about it will solve nothing.

So...I need to relax more. I need to not let my online interactions, or lack of from others, get me down so much. I need to accept that this is now the norm. That may be a bad thing, but there's no other choice these days it seems. All i can do is keep reblogging and leaving comments as I've always done for others, and be part of the remaining fandom that does those things.

I also need to make some friends on here, and the only way to do that is to talk about myself more. Did that on livejournal back in the day, mixed with fandom of course, and made some great friends, a few who i still know today from back in 2006!!

I am a lonely person in real life, I don't have any friends in a real life and for lack of a better term I suppose you could say I'm asexual and that can be very lonely in itself, so I need to do more on here as a start.

So im going to do at least one post with something that happened to me each day, I want to make more fandom posts, maybe even go back to giffing. Yes reblogs are rare these days, but I need to focus on the reblogs and comments I DO get instead of the ones I don't.

I'd really love it if anyone wants to interact with me, send messages or Asks, replies on posts, reblogs, anything to help. I'd love to hear about you, your life your fandoms, your blorbos 😄. Or anything you want to know about me, I have no one to talk to in real life my entire social life is literally tumblr. That's it.

So yes, it gonna be hard for me cos id dug myelf in deep, but a more positive mindset is my new years resolution. I hope those followers I have left can forgive me for how I've been like recently and will stay 😊.

[lotus-pear]

so i was reading a P5 new game+ fic where he tries to save his friends from the dangers of the metaverse right?

and i was thinking, even if akiren can deal with the palace rulers on his own not allowing his teammates their awakenings could be worse then letting them. like let's look at ann for example. ann had to deal with kamoshida and went along with it for the safety of shiho, and now akiren change kamoshida heart, awesome! but what happens if ann finds herself in another similar situation in the future? without having her awakening it's possible that ann could end up in a situation like that again, going along with her abuser for the safety of her friend or whoever's safety was threatened, since she wouldn't have had that initiative she did to stand up to kamoshida's shadow after she awakened to her persona. sure, she could be pushed to the brink and have her awakening in reality but what would happen to her before that happened?

and futaba's situation is particularly special since she entered her own palace. yeah, akiren might be able to stop ryuji, ann, yusuke and makoto from finding out about the metaverse but what about futaba, a girl who's a total homebody recluse that's practically glued to her technology? especially since when she found the metanav app on her phone, the phantom thieves were already fighting wakaba's shadow manifestation inside futaba's palace, and even if akiren somehow succeeded in stealing futaba's phone until her palace was taken care of i highly doubt the metaverse would leave someone alone THAT easily,especially not someone who's metanav app already appeared on their phone much less. akiren would have to destroy futaba's phone to avoid her finding the metaverse, and i don't think sojiro would be very happy about that. and also, ALL the phantom thieves were key parts in helping futaba become more comfortable with going out over time, so futaba might take even longer to start healing without the large group effort the phantom thieves made to help her since it would just be sojiro, akiren, and maybe morgana (still don't think ann and makoto should've given futaba a literal bikini to wear to the beach when a one piece and swim shorts would've done fine and probably made futaba a way more comfortable, but i digress)

i could probably go on a lot more but these are the main problems i can think of with the whole new game+ akiren saves his friends au. i don't have any issues with them personally, there fun to read and i love how much effort the writers put into making these stories and have no intention to discourage anyone from making any, i just wanted to talk about what problem might arise post p5 from the au.

anyways have a nice day, feel free to ignore if you'd like! but if you choose to reply, i'd love to hear your own input and what changes the other phantom thieves lives might have in new game+ save everyone au!

SORRY IM SEEING THIS LIKE TEN MONTHS LATE 🙏🏼🙏🏼 MY INBOX LOVES EATING LONG ASKS BC ITS AFRAID OF ME ENGAGING IN REAL CONVERSATIONS WITH OTHER TUMBLR USERS

anyway i think this would be a rly cool au in terms of ren’s inherent tendency to try and save others despite the fact that it will bring him trouble. he isn’t afraid of confrontation and will put his morals first without regrets, even if he will be punished.

an au like this would truly test his limits and just how far he’s willing to go for his own justice without harming or dragging in the victims or other innocent bystanders.

ultimately it wouldn’t work bc lavenza quite literally states that “the game is not fair” and that ren never had a chance of winning from the start; she tells him to recall the bonds he made and find solidarity in them. without any of his teammates, it doesn’t matter if joker holds the power of the wild card, he would still lose.

his teammates and the strength in the bonds and relationships forged between them is what allowed him to win.

[dollheartbadparts]

4NA Mention

Bruh...

Okay, maybe what I said was strange, but I literally said something along the lines of "If I dont eat something I'm gonna kms" Because eating does help distract me from my suicidal thoughts

And she said something like "sorry, I'm lowkey toxic abt this I can't help you"

... SERIOUSLY?!

She was a friend of mine for like a day lol cause we were both talking abt 4na and shit 😭

She texted me twice with half assed apologies for being rude but I like never want to respond. I want her to think she made me kms.

Cause no joke... She's a part of the reason I almost attempted. Like no one came to fucking help me???? Fake ass bitches.

ARGHHH. Yeah this may be toxic but idgaf that's not what you say to someone who just told you they're considering suicide. And yes, I did say I wasn't trying to vent or open up or anything but why the fuck would you say that to me?

I need to get skinnier than that hoe now

She thinks I ghosted her 🙄 like, yes, I am, but ur supposed to think I kms and I posted that last concerning post on my main (she don't know abt this tumblr) for a reason. Like is "i should just kms instead of sad posting on tumblr" not concerning enough for ppl to reach out and ask me if im okay??? 😭 and I haven't posted there since and I'd always post a million time a day

Jesus fucking christ how bad do I have to get for ppl to believe my pain. That's it, I'm losing weight until people actually start to worry about me. Last time they didn't, they probably won't now but I'm determined to get so fucking thin they'll start being concerned

This doesn't have an 4na tags bcuz I don't want her circle seeing my post :///

[patelgravesyaoi]

Play with me

Young Neil x Gen!Neutral Reader FIC cw: EXPLICIT NSFW Minors pls DNI ! ♡

Summary: You invited your boyfriend Neil to come hang out with you while Wallace and Scott were at a party, which leads to you giving him a blowjob in bed, but Wallace and Scott end up coming home right before he orgasmed. Scott was not amused.

a/n: Hi! First post on Tumblr~! I'm cross-posting this from my ao3: PatheticMenLover! Thought I'd expand my work on here too. I want to do Hazbin Hotel stuff too, seems like most of the fandom is here haha. I've just been doing SPVTW stuff, this one being my most recent one. Though, I hope you like it. &lt;𝟑

You, Wallace, and Scott are close friends. You all share an apartment and a bed too. Some people would say it is a little strange to share it with two other people but honestly it wasn’t too bad. Especially since you and Scott could not really complain, Wallace practically pays for everything aside from your Xbox 360.

 If anything, you, and Scott are considered leaches. You do plan to move out sometime soon and live with your boyfriend Neil. You’re still in the works of getting a good apartment, so for now you’re stuck with a loser and Wallace. Don’t get it wrong, they are good roommates, aside from the face that Wallace bangs his boy toys in the same bed you and Scott sleep on. But…not like you guys can complain because again, he pretty much pays for everything.

You just do not want to feel some random guys jizz stain on your leg. You’re still horrified that one time where there was fresh semen on the bed and you swiped it off, thinking it was lotion but…eventually came to realize it wasn’t, thanks to Scott.

Anyhow, that leaves you here, alone in the apartment relaxing on Wallace’s armchair watching tv while Scott and him had left to go to some party. They had invited you to tag along with them but to be honest parties were not your thing and you do not enjoy socializing with random drunk people. Ironically though a party is where you met your current boyfriend, Young Neil... or well just Neil. He looked so lonely at the party. At the time you noticed he had come with a group of people, but they just parted ways, so that left him alone in a corner with a bored look on his face.

So, you walked up to him, made conversation and surprisingly it went very well. And by made conversation, you meant flirt heavily. He had a chill; calm personality and it went well with yours. Not to mention…he was adorable. How had nobody gone up to him and flirted with him before you is a mystery. After the party you two exchanged numbers and kept on talking until he very shyly asked you to date him, and how could you say no? And so far, the relationship has been going great.

Now back to you. 2 hours had passed since Wallace and Scott left you and it was an understatement to say you were bored. All you did was watch tv, play on your xbox, and eat lunch. You had the apartment to yourself and could do what you want, but why did it feel so boring still? It was because you were doing It alone.

So, you decided to call up your boyfriend Neil and ask him to come hang out with you.

“Oh, hey babe, what’s up?” You could tell by his tone he was happy to hear from you. “Hey Neil. You wanna come over? I’m at Wallace’s apartment.”

“YES!…ehm.. I mean, yeah whatever that sounds cool.” He quickly collects himself, which earned a giggle on your end. That boy was so cute it hurts. “Are Scott and Wallace there? Are we all hanging out or something?”

“Nah. Just us. They’re at a party and won’t be here until….im not sure honestly. I can’t tell with them. Is that okay with you?”

“Perfect..!” He said quickly. “Good! Then I’ll see you when you get here, yeah?”

“I already left the house.”

Today was going to be great, you just know it.

After awhile of waiting for Neil to come you finally hear a soft knock on the door. You quickly got up and fixed your clothes and hair to make it look more presentable and then headed towards the door and letting Neil in. He had on a large puffy coat, jeans, his normal shoes and to top it all off a fluffy hat covered his soft hair. You also noticed his nose was red, poor boy must have had a small cold. Afterall, it has been snowing a lot recently, especially today.

“Hey b-babe!” It was so cold you could see his breath coming straight out of mouth. “Hey baby. Come on inside, you look like you have a cold.” He nods happily as he steps right inside, and you close the door behind him. “You think I look sick?” He asks while a sniffle leaves his nose as he takes off his puffy coat and sets it aside on the armchair. “You have a cold. Have you noticed your nose is red?”

He tries to cross his eyes to look at his nose. “Hmm. No, don’t see it.” A giggle escaped your lips. “Wait..does that mean we can’t make out...or cuddle?”

“Nah. I’d still kiss you.” You grab his hand and drag him to the bed. “I’ve been playing Sims 3 and Minecraft all day, it’s boring so when you’re alone.” You grab your controller.

“Do you have castle crashers?” He grabs a nearby controller.

“Of course. Wanna play that?” He nods.

“Good choice, one of my favorite games.”

“…dibs on the purple knight.”  You playfully push his shoulder. “Hey!- I wanted that one!”

After a few hours of playing Castle Crashers, you two eventually got bored of it. Not because the game was bad, oh trust. But because of the stupid bat boss, could not get past it. So annoying…! Anyways, instead of playing more Xbox games you decided to cuddle up with him under the covers while you watched him play on this Gameboy Advance. He was playing Mario Kart Super Circuit as Luigi.

You snuggled your head into his shoulder while you watched him play. “Babe.. are you sure you don’t want a turn? Is It really that fun to watch me play?” He asks curiously.

“Mhm. You make cute faces when you’re focused.” He sticks his tongue out in concentration. “Huh?..sorry what’d you say? I had to get back in first place.” You snorted. “You’re cute.”

You get closer to him, you lift your leg and placed it over his crotch. His face flushes. “Haah…y/n..you’re..um….you’re distracting.”

“Distracting? Can you elaborate?”

His eyebrows furrow. “Y…you’re trying to make me lose..! I wont let you…”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” You tease. “I’m just trying to cuddle with my lovely boyfriend, can’t a person just—”

“Mhmm..”

“Oh?”

You feel a growing bump on your naked knee. It didn’t take a genius to understand what that was. He had gotten a boner from your leg laying on his dick. “Y/nnn….” You look directly at him. “Yes?”

“…I’m hard.”

“I know.”

There were a few seconds of silence between you two. “Want me to take care of it baby?” He furiously nods with flustered face. “P..please….b-but first let me finish this—”

“You can keep playing it while I suck your dick.”

“Wh- wha?...you want me to do that..?” He stammers. “Go ahead babe. Pretend like I’m not even here, kay?” You proceed to get under the covers while also getting in between Neil’s legs. His boner was more visible from this angle. “Pretend like you’re not here..?...that’s gonna be h..harrd…but okay.”

You placed your hands on top of his covered dick. You could already feel him throbbing. He breaths with a mix of anticipation and nervousness as he gripped his Gameboy tightly, attempting to concentrate as hard as he can on his game. You then put your fingers in-between his boxers then sliding it down all the way to his knees. His dick immediately sprung up with a string of pre-cum trailing down the base of his dick from the tip.

“Ohh? You were REAL pent up weren’t you?” His heart starts to race as you grab his dick. “F-fuuuck. Don’t…don’t go too fast….you’re gonna make me c-cum early again like last time..”

“Haha..don’t worry, Neil.” You kiss the tip of his dick. “I’ll try to make you last as long as possible. Just focus on your game.~”

You were going to be the death of him.

He watches you with a mix of awe and desire as you kiss and started to slowly stroke his dick. You could also feel him squirming underneath your touch. He felt warm sensations coursing through his body, but still managed to focus on his game somehow. But his eyes did occasionally flicker to your eyes.

“Ah…hnnm…”

You extended your wet tongue to the base of his dick, then began to lick from there towards the tip of it. His pre-cum tasted a little salty. “mmm~  you’re a good boy aren’t you?”

 “Ughn…” A shiver runs down his spine as he tries to keep his focus on the game, but your tongue and touch were already so overwhelming. He lets out soft gasps whenever your tongue glosses over his sensitive tip. “Y…yeah..I’m your good boy….” His whimpers out, his voice barely audible. His eyes continuing to dart between the screen and your movements, his body was growing more tense with each passing second. It just felt too good.

You wrapped your lips about his tip, sucking on it gently. You also used your other free hand to caress his inner thigh. Neil’s body lifted slightly, and he grips his Gameboy tighter as your warm mouth had engulfed the tip of his dick. He bites down on his bottom lip, trying to stifle the series of moans that threatened to escape his soft lips. The sensation of your hand on his thigh and the pleasure from your mouth sent waves of ecstasy through him. “y/n…g..ghhn…ugh!” He struggles to keep his focus on the game, it was getting increasingly difficult for him to both face fuck you and continue playing the game.

You started to take him further into your mouth, his dick hitting your throat each time your lips met his messy pubes. Your tongue trailing over the veins on his dick then back to his tip and then back to the veins. Neil’s head falls back onto a pillow as loud moans escapes his lips, his body trembling with pleasure. He could feel himself getting lost in the sensations, at this point the game had fallen from out of hand, he had forgotten it as he surrenders to the pleasure you’re giving him.

You then could feel a hand being placed on top of your head, gently pushing you further down. “Y..yes…just like that…you’re amazing…” His free hand grips the covers of the bed, and his breath became more ragged. You completely took your mouth off his dick and used your hand to stroke him quickly. “Gonna cum for me baby? You wanna cum on my pretty face, yeah?”

Maybe you were just hearing things but..was someone outside the front door..?

He pathetically lets a few tears fall from his face as he gasps sharply. His mind was going blank with pleasure, too much was going on he couldn’t think of anything else except you. He couldn’t help but let ot a lew, guttural moan, hips involuntarily twitching In response to the intense pleasure. “Y-yes!...I..I can’t hold back much longer…n..need to cum..” He struggles to form coherent words, completely hypnotized by your hand.

Keys entered the lock of the front door. Someone is here.

“Cum for me. Now.” Your trail your free hand from his inner thigh to under his shirt, caressing his chest. As for your occupied hand, your hand kept his dick busy with your fast paced strokes. “I-Im…y/n…I’m so close…ssso so close…don’t stop pleeease…”

The front door opens. Wallace and Scott enter the room before noticing..-

The intensity of your hands pushes him closer and closer to the edge, you consumed his mind entire;y. He lets out a final string of incoherent moans, his free hand gripping the sheets so tight his knuckles were turning white as he approached his climax. “Y-y/n…I’m…I’m gonna…c-cummingg!!” He rolls his eyes to the back of his head and arched his back involuntarily as he finally reached his peak, releasing his cum onto your face with a final, shuddering orgasm.

A string of cum landed on your lips, to which you licked it off. You then stuck your head out from under the covers to see Neil’s tired, exhausted face. He had tear stains on his cheeks and he was breathing heavily. You chuckled at this. “I hope I didn’t go too hard on you babe. You okay?” He looks at you with a small smile before quickly dropping it when he noticed you had visitors.

“Uh..y/n….” He mutters. You tilt your face at him with confusion. “What? What’s wrong? You’ve came on my face before.” He shakes his head. “I-its not that its just uh..”

“What?”

Neil lifts his hand and points right behind you. You turned your head slowly to see….Wallace…and Scott. Both, horrified, Scott more so. They just witnessed their friend give a blow job to their other friend, and it didn’t help that you still had his cum on your face.

“uh….hey guys. How was the party?” You nervous asked.

They said nothing for a few moments until Wallace spoke up. “I never knew you had that in you, y/n.” He teased. Scott however, wasn’t amused…at all. “We..y/n… we sleep on the same BED!...Y-you’re face is covered in—!”

“I KNOW.” You embarrassingly wiped it off from your face and Neil quickly pulled up his boxers and pants. After this incident Scott tried to ban you from bringing Neil over, even when both of them were there. But since Scott was considered a leech too, it didn’t hold any value to you. As for Wallace, he found the whole thing amusing, but…he very gently asked you to not fuck him on the bed…. despite him doing the exact same thing. Apparently, he’s the only one allowed to do that. Fair enough since it was his bed after all.

That’s not gonna stop you from inviting Neil over again. ♡

I was lowkey struggling how to format this. Tumblr is killing meeee

[concerningwolves]

Hey-- coming here from your profanity vs vtt post.

How have you found the transition to using voice to text? Has it been frustrating? What have you done to help it understand you better? Are there ways to make it understand specific things you want to say like an odd name, or do you have to swap back to typing? How do you manage swapping between the two?

I have chronic pain in my hands and many people have told me to try vtt bc im a programmer for work and a writer for hobbies and honestly typing too much. I'm curious bc the things I asked about are worries that have held me back from trying it, bc i have a low frustration tolerance when I'm in enough pain to require using it

I... do not know if I am the best person to ask because I am deaf and have a speech impediment that, although minor, is significant enough that I think voice to text is going to be more difficult for me than other people. But I also love giving my opinion on things lol (just bear in mind my experience will skew a little ways off the typical).

I am still very much in the teething stage - getting used to what it can and can't do, and trying really hard to work against my own very low frustration threshold. Everything you've asked about also held me back from it for ages until now, when I had deadlines to meet and no other option. The big thing I have to keep reminding myself is that vtt learns as you use it. I don't know if they all do this, but the built-in Windows one I'm using on my laptop does. So, yes, you can make it more accurate – by using it more often. Also, not all vtt software is made equal: Some other vtt programs have vocab lists so you can add in words and train it, some are better at automatically filtering filler phrases like um or uh, some handle background noise better, etc. at some point I'm going to look more into all the alternatives out there but Im going to get used to it on what I have first.

Coming back to the whole "it gets better the more you use it" thing. At the moment I am making myself use it at least a little bit every day, in short bursts, focusing on repeating and enunciating any phrases that it does not understand. I think I've noticed some improvement over three days! But I really recommend doing this before you are forced to use it out of necessity, which is something I didn't do and I'm now absolutely paying the price for. It's frustrating trying to wrestle with vtt AND deadlines AND pain 🙃

It's pretty easy to swap between vtt and typing. On my phone (how I dictated this answer) I just hit the microphone button. On the laptop a voice to text bar remains on screen so I can toggle it on and off with a click. When using the full voice control feature all I need to do is tell it to enable voice access or disable voice access (then correct or type by pecking with my single pain free finger). Windows vtt also has built in voice commands to delete and select text, insert punctuation, and start new paragraphs. How well these commands works DOES depend on your program though – backspacing doesn't work in Scrivener, for example, but works fine if I dictate a post on Tumblr in browser and the whole thing functions best in Microsoft Word. Of course. Because Microsoft want you to use their products.

So all in all, yeah. It's frustrating. Or at least, it's a serious learning curve. The essay I've been doing for uni using vtt is.. a terrifying mess, but at least vtt now understands me when I say the name Orsino, which is certainly hopeful. And knowing I at least HAVE an alternative to just exacerbating chronic pain + hypermobility has helped with my sharp downward emotional spiral that I always get when my pain is bad. Just wish I'd adjusted to it before I had to learn via trial of fire.

Oh, and top tip from my experience so far: DRINK FLUIDS. water is probably best but I think as long as you do not do what Charles Dickens did and suck down like five different alchocolic drinks before speaking, you're fine with most anything. Point is, if your mouth gets dry/too full of saliva and/or your throat gets sore, enunciating is harder, so the vtt engine will struggle more and then YOU struggle more. So drink. (I do not think I have ever been so well-hydrated)

[pillarsalt]

its weird being in feminist spaces online bc on the one hand, we all understand that women have womens shelters because they actually worked towards gathering resources and opening these physical spaces. like they did actual work and didnt just wax poetic about the necessity. but then you have discourse about womens clothes and its like. you guys know there ARE brands out there creating functional clothing for the female form, right? and they end up shutting down due to lack of support? because we arent putting any action behind our words? and are just wishing good womens clothing into existence? like there are no mens shleters bc men didnt make shelters. there are no good female clothing brands because we 1) dont make them and if we do, 2) they dont get enough patronage to stay afloat. so yea guys, keep making tumblr posts about the lack of functional female clothing instead of seeking out and supporting those businesses. ill keep wearing my dads hand-me-downs because im economically and ecologically based.

Ooh anon we're playing with fire here... Alright everybody, feelings caps off and critical thinking caps on. This is in reference to a post I made a few nights ago about how I don't quite believe how many women claim they are incapable of wearing men's section clothes, a post which was itself in reference to another post that made the rounds on tumblr earlier this year. I wrote it after having had six beers and I'll be the first to admit, it was pretty inflammatory and worded in a way that lead a few people to reply defensively and angrily, so I turned off RBs and deleted it when I woke up the next day as damage control. The general gist of my post was that there are shitloads of options in the men's section that are far comfier with better quality materials than women's section clothes, that oversized clothes are easily adjusted for functionality ie. rolling up cuffs and wearing a belt, and that I think a lot of the women claiming they couldn't possibly wear men's section clothing are maybe just unwilling to "look bad," but again I wrote it in a way that obviously would not inspire good faith interaction with those whose choices I criticized. I'd like to take the opportunity to try again with this ask.

First of all, I also had a couple people say that they've had to wear the men's uniform at their job and it was ill-fitting and sucked. Of course I'm not arguing that women should not be accounted for in creating work equipment and PPE omfg, that's not what I'm talking about at all! That's a matter of safety and equality in employment, completely not what I'm saying. And I'm also not saying that women SHOULDN'T have clothes that are comfortable, functional, and properly fitting that are made with them in mind. We should be demanding this! What I am saying is that... we don't have that right now. Anon points out that there are businesses that have tried to do this and couldn't find enough patronage to stay afloat. Of course I want these clothing manufacturers to succeed, it would be the best case scenario, but in the mean time, we have two options: uncomfortable, flimsy, revealing, shit-ass-material that won't keep you warm women's clothes; and men's clothes that are possibly ill-fitting.

From the replies I did get, sounds like the biggest problem is with the hips to waist ratio, in men's pants the waist is too big when the hips fit. Yes, I get it! But I was also surprised to learn how many women are completely opposed to wearing belts?? I always thought belts were a wardrobe staple for most everyone, my Mom always wears one, I've been wearing one when necessary since middle school age. But happily for the non-belt-wearers, I've discovered that many men's pants actually have drawstrings, sometimes they're inside behind the buttons and zipper, so you can make them as tight or loose as you like. I have four pairs of pants like this, I wear them to work where I walk around and bring heavy things up and down stairs all day, they are sooo comfyyy.

The other thing is all my pants are from the men's now, and I have to tell you: sizing discrepancy is popularly framed solely as a women's clothing issue, but it's not really. Last week I bought two pairs of men's jeans from the thrift store, both size 34, without trying them on. One pair fits quite tightly around my thighs to the point that I will probably only wear them to events and not all day at work, while the other is the perfect size and so comfy I could sleep in them (don't worry, I won't.) It's trial and error all around when it comes to finding clothes that fit properly. There's not One Shape of men's pants. The changing room is your friend! Hang out in thrift stores long enough and you will absolutely find items that fit you wonderfully and feel comfortable.

So then we come to my main point: There are a lot of women who claim that men's clothes are just too big for them to wear and therefore they must resort to women's section clothes which supposedly fit them so much better... *FROM MY POINT OF VIEW* it seems a sort of convenient excuse to look the way a patriarchal society wants you to, in the same way that "sensory issues around body hair" is now a common stated reason to continue shaving and participating in sexist beauty culture without having to examine why you feel compelled to do so. I think when some women say they're unable to wear men's clothes, it's because they can't wear men's clothes and look as conventionally "good" as they do in women's clothes. And it's true, men's clothes are gonna be a bit looser and a bit more formless, but men aren't expected to be shrink-wrapped into their outfit like women are anyway. I understand the pressure to "look good," often women are treated poorly when they don't, but it's in your best interest and in the best interest of other women to resist that sexist pressure, or at least question it honestly.

Do I think you're a bad person for choosing to wear exclusively women's section clothes, absolutely not. I don't think women who shave or wear makeup or heels are bad people either. But I do think it's worth examining why you really feel like you couldn't branch out from the women's section.

Men's pants have a baggier crotch and ass area, but women's pants are often so tightly compact in the crotch that they can cause gynaecological problems. Men's shirt sleeves are quite roomy and may need rolling up, but many women's t-shirts have tiny sleeves that pinch your arms and draw your attention to the fact that your arm fat is being compressed. Men's pants can be quite long for a short woman, but cuffing them is simple: like anon said you can easily hem them, and if you don't sew like me, you can literally just cut them shorter and roll up the cuffs twice and KABOOM they become as short as you like. I want to reiterate that I do think women deserve to have clothes that are made with their comfort in mind, and I hope we do someday soon. But with the options we do have, there is a clear winner in terms of functionality, dignity, and quality. Men's clothes are made to be worn, women's clothes are made to adorn, decorate, be looked at.

Last point, when I hear someone say they're just too short or fat for men's section clothes... I can't believe them because I have seen A LOT of short and fat women wearing men's section clothes and doing just fine. You all have never met a short and/or fat butch lesbian? Ever? They look damn good in men's section clothing. I have a coworker who is 4'11" and shops 50/50 mens and womens clothes including pants. Like... I'm seeing short women wear mens clothes with slight alterations and zero problems. I really believe you can do it too. I believe!!!

In the end, I'm just a random tumblr blogger typing on my random tumblr blog, and you the reader have no obligation to take anything I say with more than a grain of salt. Try not to take this post personally, I'm not out to attack you. If your reasoning is simply "I don't want to," I can respect that and we don't have to agree. I think we can all agree the clothing situation for women generally sucks. If anyone including this Anon has recommendations for companies who make clothing that is legitimately created for women with women's bodies in mind, please let me know and I'll boost! Perhaps we can make a difference with our wallets.

[zmbiesvape]

people are lying about me, harassing me, stalking me (how are you getting a bunch of screenshots of my acc when I have you star, chirssy, and evb else that I know is close with you blocked.) and sending their friends to harass me & and innocent ppl. I made this blog because people were sending me anons threatening to rape my friends, not because I "didn't want to take accountability" I still stand by everything I said, moreso now actually. I just don't want to talk about a situation that happened TWO months ago just because an insane narcissist wants to drag it out. I haven't posted about it in MONTHS, but you keep posting abt it and unblocking me to dm me. also I don't remember ever even finding your TT acc, idk ur username on there, not that I care enough that I'd stalk you either way. I'm not sure what that was abt, I'm pretty sure one of my mutual reposted one of ur videos or smth. sorry abt that. I also never called you a rapist. I said you roleplayed rape, because you did. the thing I said about me being an sa advocate wasn't even about that situation. you just refused to acknowledge it and got mad that I didn't name drop. obviously you didn't fucking rape me holy shit. Im also an sa survivor myself, so u can stop saying "real sa victims" because I am. and not bc of you. not everything is about you jazz. also nobody that I talk to is sending you anons, so u can stop saying that thanks.

literally all I wanted was to be left alone, and the main reason I even got upset in the first place was because you wouldn't leave me alone. (I said that to you multiple times, not that I exaggerated the situation. cuz I didn't.) I've realized you're not gonna stop harrassing me, you're not gonna stop lying about me, and you're gonna continue to stalk me because youre so self centered you have to see what I'm saying about you even though I've said nothing for months.

calling me pathetic and saying I'm dragging it on when you've unblocked me MULTIPLE times to say some random bullshit and you continue to post about me is insane. you've also talked to my friends and lied about me, I've only talked to one person who wasn't involved in the situation, because they asked. everybody else that blocked you made that decision on their own based on what they saw. the ONLY times I've posted about this on this blog was when I told the anons to stop, unblocking star to tell them to stop posting about me (that's not a post but I felt like I should include it), and today.

I'm making a new blog again. stop unblocking me to spew your unmedicated bullshit, don't look for my new blog cuz you're already blocked, stop sending people to my page to harrass me (ik u r bc u admitted it. also one of the anons (they admitted to being an anon) was harrassing my Instagram and gave you the joke post I made that you've been using as "proof". unless you did somehow find my Instagram.) just stop talking about the situation. the only ppl that care atp are you and ur 2 friends. I wasn't the one who brought it here like you keep saying, you got mad over a private conversation (that happened after I'd already blocked you bc you don't know how to leave people alone) and took it to Tumblr! I made ONE vague post that I deleted like 2 mins later and you ran with it.

I could say so much more shit you'd done, but people are scared about coming out about what you did so I won't. I'm sorry you have to live with yourself knowing you're lying about me and so many other people while there's still so many ppl suffering in silence bc of what u did.

I'm also extremely sorry to anyone and everyone who got caught in the crossfire, nobody who was sent those gross insane anons or dmed deserved it. I'm also sorry to my ex mutuals who genuinely think I'm a horrible person bc jazz is so obsessed with this situation that she won't stop lying! love you all so much ^3^ dm me if u want my new handle!

[solar-wing]

Im sorry, but HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO WRITE SO MANY GOOD FICS WITH THAT MANY WORDS??????

Do you have any tips for anyone planning to start writing? Can you describe how your creative thinking works? Love your work!

my exact writing process:

going from left to right:

– stare at my computer, willing the idea/scene in my head to appear on the document in words while listening to whatever inspired me on repeat. – sleep after exhausting my creative energy in such a strenuous manner. – eventually, come back to the idea/story only to end up formating the story post (story cover, author's note, summary, masterlists links, etc.) and not actually work on the story itself. – EVENTUALLY, write something and feel proud of myself for all of five minutes.

– eventually, come back and cringe at the screen wondering what the fuck I wrote and how I even got to the point I'm at. – question who I am and what I'm doing while staring at the screen, attempting again to will the scene/story I'm imagining onto the screen in a DECENT format while also wondering how the fuck it got so long. – read a notification from one of you coronal mass ejections asking me when the story I've been ignoring for months is getting updated (rightfully so) – write with passion fear, because I know if I delay any longer, one of you CMEs will eventually unite the rest of you and start a mass riot.

– stare at the post after publishing it and refresh my screen every thirty seconds to see the likes, reblogs, and comments coming in. – sleep (very important step) – eventually, read over my own work after posting it, going back in to make edits after realizing I either have a duplicated paragraph/section or a misspelled word somewhere and it's bugging the hell out of me while trying to just ignore it. – look at my inbox/drafts, trying to decide what request/draft I should finally start/finish, until I don't do that and just end up starting a new random story after getting inspired from the most random thing.

and that's it (i'm so serious, it goes exactly like that)!

but, in more seriousness, there's three crucial things to my writing creative/process.

an idea that was randomly sparked from a song or likely another post I read somewhere.

a super-powered hyperfocused spawned from ADD (attention deficit disorder) that randomly turns on and off.

drafts that have been sitting in my Google Drive for months to nearly a year.

it's funny because I'm sure people have questions of how I'm pushing upwards of 30K word fics out back to back at times, and the whole time, I'm like "This draft has been sitting here and getting slowly added to since April."

One Kent Was Enough was an idea I got last year during the summer (2023), and the draft had literally been sitting in my Google Drive and Tumblr drafts for months. Like I'm pretty sure I had a draft post of it on my old account before it got shadowbanned and I made this one..

All that to say, my writing process is pretty organic to me. It's really a reflection of my personality and how I operate in real life. Though, I I'd doubt that a lot of the stuff I put in there is unique just to me.

As far as tips I would have, the first one would be don't expect to write like your favorite author off the bat. One, you're two completely different people with different personalities, styles, likes/dislikes, etc. Two, if any of you remember how Nightwing and Shadow first came about, then you know seeing where it's gotten now has been a process. I promise I did not just start writing like this.

But, the biggest tip I would give is to just write. I saw a music artist named Doechii say this in an interview: "I have the right to be bad at something when I first start." Like I said in my process, there are many points I will look back at my work and completely hate it. Sometimes, the stories won't make sense to you or you'll feel like you've just thrown a bunch a words on the screen. It's okay.

It adds to your process because eventually, you start to learn what works best for you and what doesn't. Also, the stories end up turning out to be really well-thought-out and good in the end. I'm not joking when I say One Kent Was Enough was a literal mess at multiple points, and many times, I had no idea where I was going with the story. I literally couldn't get past the scene where the boys meet their dads and the rest of the Team for months until I had a breakthrough.

you'll eventually find your own way. just start writing 💛

[fandomfluffandfuck]

i have to scream ab this somewhere bc ive just posted the first chapter of a new fic and im SO. EXCITED!!!!!

as well as this, i wanted to know - are you working on anything right now? if so, maybe you don't mind sharing a couple lines of dialogue as a teaser (bc i miss your writing alot especially after you can('t) teach an old dog new tricks)!! think of it as an ask game that i unofficially started lol.

hope ur doing good! xx

I just saw the post you made on your writing account for that, yeah!

I've had a very busy day, so I was hyped to log back onto Tumblr and see that! Hopefully, I can carve out some time to read it soon. It looks so, so good!!

"espresso" by bvckysarm

(Everyone better go read 😤)

Hell yeah, I'm always working on something 😏

Although, admittedly, it's nothing as long or grand as You Can('t) Teach An Old Dog New Tricks. I'm having fun messing around with short (for me) one-shots after spending, what,, five or six months on that series? I love it to death, I do, but, Jesus, yeah, over the length of the average novel, and half a year of writing (more than, behind the scenes, I'd been planning and researching for much, much longer)... I am relishing in noncommittal one-offs, haha.

Here's your teaser 😘

“Aw, you miss me, Stevie?” He needlessly teases, gripping his waist hard enough to bruise him like a soft, overripe peach.

“Uh-” Steve starts to answer him, but he’s cut off by a reverberating moan when Bucky shoves him back and viciously re-spears him on the fake cock he’s got suctioned to the wet, wet tile wall, “-huh.”

Steve stays slumped forward against him, clinging to him, shaking all over still, but now he clings harder; his blunt nails dig into Bucky’s skin and he hisses, enjoying the heat that shudders through his veins from the other man’s touch.

“Missed my cock, that’s what you missed,” Bucky husks into his ear, grabbing his little hips meaner, digging his fingers into his flesh, pushing him back tight onto the toy, making him fucking take it.

He gasps so cutely, so obscenely when his ass thickly presses to the cold tile—taking that toy to the wide, wide base, swallowing it whole—how could he not do it to him? Bucky just wants to fuck. ‘im. up. Vicious.

“M-missed, uunnhh, missed all a’you,” Steve protests weakly, pawing at him uselessly, not as weak and sweet as he thought. Not as weak and limp as he wants to get him—he wants to make him so fucking fuck-dumb.

“Nah, I don’t think you did,” Bucky’s grinning so wide, the muscles in his face already are starting to ache, sharp, “I think I’m just a cock with legs to you,” he tweaks one of Steve’s peaked nipples, just to admire how he shudders, “aren’t I? Isn’t that how it’s always been? Could barely get you off of my cock when you were smaller, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, I never understood where you put it even though I could see it, bulging through your tummy, so tight and little around me.” Bucky presses his palm there now, dragging his nails down from the swell of his tits to his clenching abs. With the right angle, he can still do it, sometimes, he can spear Steve on his dick and bend him up in a cute little knot and see his dick through his stomach. Bulging. Thick and deep inside him, fucking him until he forgets how to beg for more.

Fucking him until he forgets his own name.

“Still, fuck, I couldn’t ever believe you could fit it in that tiny hole.” Bucky shakes his head, half in disbelief, half in predatory instinct, wanting to bite Steve and tear through him, shaking his head like a fucking dog with a toy, ravenous and slobbering, “then you went and got yourself all big and your need just got bigger, didn’t it, honey?”

“S-so did you, you guh-got bigger, too!” Steve whines, trying to retort but falling flat when he starts to pant, overwhelmed.

“I did,” Bucky purrs, grinding into his hip leisurely, enjoying how hot and feverish he is, God, he really worked himself up into a mess, didn’t he? “And ain’t that good for you, honey? Anything else and you’d’a died, ‘cause you need cock like you need air, don’t you, dollface?”

I hope you're excited for the rest 😈

[judjira]

heyo it is ur friendly neighborhood joo !

it has been Quite A While since i last posted anything, whether on tumblr or ao3, but worry not! i am not dead yet, and i have no plans on being dead. i've been stuck for a while on writing, but i'll get to that in a bit.

for some reason, now that it's the end of the year, i took a moment to sit down and really just think about things, and i've come to one conclusion.

god, 2024 really sucked for me.

now, i know mindless rants and thought dumps like this aren't why you follow me or anything, but honestly, this is a writing blog, so i'm going to write. if you don't like that, boohoo (jk feel free to stop reading and go send that ask about when im going to update (fic) haha)

a lot of my friends like to say i give main character vibes, and that's not me boasting. genuinely i wonder what it is they see in me that makes them think that. maybe it's the way i tell stories about what happened to me, or how i can manage to keep up a conversation and seem like an extrovert, or just genuinely the way i live my life.

for context, i'm a freelancer doing events and theater, which means i have really, really strange work hours, and even stranger income. i suppose, to someone else, my life seems cool, leaving for work at 11 pm, going to different cities for shows, getting to meet celebrities in the industry and whatnot. and yeah, if i didn't work in this industry, i'd think that's pretty cool too.

but i do work in this industry. and god does it suck so bad. i try a lot to find the reasons why i keep doing my job, and it happens a lot like this:

i do a gig with a lot of hiccups, problems in management, toxic people, underperformance, and i consider quitting. then, something really great happens at the end, and i gaslight myself into ignoring my imposter syndrome and i keep working, waiting for another job.

so it's a lot like someone only giving me food when i'm desperately starving, just enough to keep me going for one day.

do i enjoy it? hell no. is it worth it? somehow, for some reason, at the end of it all, yes.

but the one thing i really don't like about it all is how it's affected my personal relationships. i take all responsibility for the way i act and the way i behave, but i'd be a liar if i said my workplace didn't influence me the way it did.

this year has been so full of ups and downs with my parents, my siblings, my girlfriend, my friends. i feel like, somehow, in gaining independence for myself financially, i somehow realized in the first place what i was so dependent on in my relationships. which sucks.

and to make it full circle, another thing i really don't like about it is how it's taken me away from my favorite hobby, which is writing.

i have missed out on writing for so long that it physically pains me sometimes that i'm away from my laptop and clicky keyboard, unable to pour my heart out onto some weird ass twice fic that barely anyone's gonna read. it might seem shallow to someone else, hell, probably to most people, but damn if writing isn't the one thing i come back to each and every year.

which, i think, brings me to my next point, which is i think i have to apologize for not being so active. i've made a lot of promises that i haven't been able to keep with my fics, and i have so many drafts that haven't seen the light of day. and i don't think it's just you people who read my fics that i have to apologize to, but also myself. i think i took writing too seriously and ended up having it weigh down on me more than it should have.

the whole point of this damn thing is to have fun, and to make sure other people have fun, and i don't think i've been having a lot of fun recently, honestly.

so, yeah. an apology. to you guys. and to myself. i think. im a fuckin weirdo.

but yeah, that's it for this rant. if you made it to the end, congrats! i'll be posting a s'agapo update soon, and i'm also working on the next out of bounds. after that, god knows what i'm updating. i'm gonna stop lying to myself and saying that i have an update plan when in reality i just write whatever's on my mind.

anyway, thanks for reading, and i hope you all have a very happy new year. love ya